Does Anyone Really Think Ted Hughes Almost Bought A Fox Cub on a London Bridge in 1960?
Suspect the answer could be a bit of each. And from all i've read of Hughes, by Hughes, can practically guarantee he would've liked your dream.
Because of my love for Sylvia, i hated Ted for a very long time, and it prevented me from being able to read his work. Then, some years ago, a good friend-- a pretty brilliant female poet, who loves Sylvia too-- told me I was only punishing myself, and gave me the Complete Poems volume you mentioned, for Christmas. I opened it-- tentatively, staying near shore, in the shallows, Didn't take long for me to acclimate though, and ultimately see Ted as my poet-friend-- and i suppose Sylvia-- saw him, too.
Have you had a look at Winter Pollen? Book of some of his best prose. It might help, in your effort to reach some--accommodation-- with him. Helped me.
Sylvia is Crow, btw. Ted may have told himself that it was him, but i think at some level he knew.